MrDom and I practice consensual non consent in our relationship, which is 24/7 D/s. This means he has my consent to do or command anything he wants at anytime without seeking my prior consent, with the exception being my hard limits (and yes Daddy, tickling is still on there!)
You must have a lot of trust in each other to have a relationship built on CNC. He has to trust me to communicate with him (if things are going too far or not far enough, if I’m struggling with my mindset and it’s affecting my ability to follow through, for examples.) I have to trust him, that he will not harm me beyond what I am capable of handling (physically and emotionally) and that he will not betray my confidence (as in posting a face photo disclosing my identity for example.)
He has earned my trust over the year+ we have been together. He has never pushed me beyond what I could handle, often stopping just before my breaking point. I don’t recall him ever demanding anything of me that I was truly not able to do. He’s demanded things of me that I didn’t want to do. Things that pushed me waaay out of my comfort zone (getting naked in public, singing and dancing down a busy street, contributing to the glory hole, video chats…. are but a few examples) However, each time he pushed and I reluctantly (with full on pout and stomping feet at times!) followed through, these experiences have ended up being good for me. Which is always his intention. I know that now because he has proven it to me time and time again.
I feel completely safe giving up my consent and allowing him to make the choices to do whatever, whenever. I know that if he ever demanded too much of me or tried to push me beyond what I was capable of doing, I could express my concerns to him. It doesn’t mean he would automatically let it go. It means he would take what I had to say into consideration. He has done this. And sometimes he has compromised and other times he hasn’t. In those latter instances I came to realize what I was capable of. And I was pleased with myself afterwards. And he was pleased with me.