On consent

MrDom and I practice consensual non consent in our relationship, which is 24/7 D/s. This means he has my consent to do or command anything he wants at anytime without seeking my prior consent, with the exception being my hard limits (and yes Daddy, tickling is still on there!)

You must have a lot of trust in each other to have a relationship built on CNC. He has to trust me to communicate with him (if things are going too far or not far enough, if I’m struggling with my mindset and it’s affecting my ability to follow through, for examples.) I have to trust him, that he will not harm me beyond what I am capable of handling (physically and emotionally) and that he will not betray my confidence (as in posting a face photo disclosing my identity for example.)

He has earned my trust over the year+ we have been together. He has never pushed me beyond what I could handle, often stopping just before my breaking point. I don’t recall him ever demanding anything of me that I was truly not able to do. He’s demanded things of me that I didn’t want to do. Things that pushed me waaay out of my comfort zone (getting naked in public, singing and dancing down a busy street, contributing to the glory hole, video chats…. are but a few examples) However, each time he pushed and I reluctantly (with full on pout and stomping feet at times!) followed through, these experiences have ended up being good for me. Which is always his intention. I know that now because he has proven it to me time and time again.

I feel completely safe giving up my consent and allowing him to make the choices to do whatever, whenever. I know that if he ever demanded too much of me or tried to push me beyond what I was capable of doing, I could express my concerns to him. It doesn’t mean he would automatically let it go. It means he would take what I had to say into consideration. He has done this. And sometimes he has compromised and other times he hasn’t. In those latter instances I came to realize what I was capable of. And I was pleased with myself afterwards. And he was pleased with me.

Which is the best feeling and reward I could ask for.

For more posts about consent in D/s relationships click the image above.

10 thoughts on “On consent

  1. Aaaw pookie. I’m so very glad that you trust me in my decisions. Also that you have come to realise that I do all of these things for your own well being and betterment. Like I have said in the past “There’s a method to my madness.” I trust you as well and I love you deeply!! … 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This is a really good insight into how consent works in a power exchange. Thank you also for promoting Tell Me About … It is great to have other writers to join us. I hope you don’t mind but have added your post to the meme. missy x

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ahhh we are good thanks. We are there Tuesday and Sunday at 8pm but could hop on for a chat at another time if that suited. We miss you there too but are glad that things are going so well. You seem to be having lots of fun! I am so pleased to get some of the other writers out there to join the meme too as I know there are lots who cover D/s topics and would like it to be a resource for others. Thank you 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  3. This opened my eyes to a broader context for CNC. I never thought of it the context of doing what he asks, even if I’d prefer not to do it. Doh! That’s def CNC. Don’t know why that never clicked with me. I always thought if it exclusively about sex, but yes, it can include getting naked in public, singing and dancing down a busy street, (check, check), contributing to the glory hole, video chats….(hum…would def dislike but yes, would do if commanded but he has not),. I’ve committed to doing anything commanded of me with my hard limits and safe words as my safety net. Great post and thanks for sharing!

    Like

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